Experts believe that the only thing preventing a complete breakdown of society are repeats of Bob Ross’s Joy of Painting every evening.
The show, which features a nice man with impressive hair painting a picture, is being repeated in the UK at 7.30 on BBC4 and, according to experts, is the only thing preventing people from regressing to animalistic tribes who slaughter the weak, venerate the strong, and think Hamilton is overrated.
“The country is on the brink,” explained sociologist Kelly Grace
“Coronavirus, deep political division, the can cancellation of Wimbledon. It’s fair to say that we, as a society, is are as close to collapse as ever we have been.
“Luckily, we have Bob Ross’s Joy of Painting keeping everyone civilised.”
Stewart James is a leaf painter from Chelmsford, Essex.
“I don’t know what I’d do without Bob Ross. Every day, I vacillate between rage and despair and it’s always just after tea that I want to take to the streets and burn it all down.
“Then I pop on BBC 4, and there’s Bob Ross with his nice hair talking about ‘happy little clouds,’ and reminding me that there’s truth and beauty in the world and that everything will probably be alright.
“He’s so much better than Jonathon.”
For now, thanks to Bob Ross, total societal collapse seems to have been stalled. However, the problem looming is that there is only a finite number of episodes of The Joy of Painting. Professor Grace was unsure of what would happen to prevent societal collapse once we got to that stage.
“I don’t know, I guess we could just screen Road House once a week and hope for the best?”
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(Image by Haiden Goggin. Cropped. Licence details)
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