The Marvel Cinematic Universe was left reeling after the racoon who plays Rocket Raccoon sensationally quit the franchise.
The raccoon, known as Dave the raccoon, was increasingly unhappy with his low billing in the credits and being paid in garbage.
“To begin with it was nice,” said Dave the raccoon.
“We were all good friends and Chris, Zoe, Tree man, the wrestler guy and me would all hang out and go for fajitas together.
“But on the second movie Chris and Zoe were big stars and, man, they really acted like it. They just stayed in their trailers and wouldn’t even talk to me. I guess they thought they were better than some raccoon.”
The final straw came Dave the raccoon found out that the human actors were getting paid with actual money and not just a bag of garbage from the alley behind the studio.
“Yeah, that was a rough day. But screw ‘em, I don’t have to take that, so I walked.”
Despite Dave the raccoon having limited acting experience and being a raccoon, he is confident of carving out a career on his own merits.
“Oh sure, I’ll be fine. I’ve got plenty of offers. I’m hoping to talk to Martin Scorsese about working on a project together. It’s exciting, you know?”
Marvel boss Kevin Feige has already announced that, in the next Guardians of the Galaxy movie, Rocket Raccoon will be played a dog with long hair doing an accent.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this next week? No problem, click on this TV Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Be the first to comment