Piers Morgan absolutely furious about recent sci-fi horror film M3gan

The new sci-fi horror film M3gan, released recently, has been warmly received by many critics, but it appears to have made well-known internet loudmouth Piers Morgan absolutely furious.

“Frankly, I think it’s an absolute disgrace that M3gan is being released in this country at all,” he railed, presumably under the impression that anyone remotely cares what he thinks.

“It’s clear that this is not a film that cares about Britain or the great British institutions that make Britain great. I think it would be better for everyone if it just stayed in America and stopped bothering our cinemas.”

It is unknown exactly why Morgan has so taken against the film, it seems most likely that he wanted to pursue a friendship or perhaps even a romantic involvement with one of the stars or producers but was rebuffed. He certainly has never given a reasonable explanation for his animosity, he has just turned a strange reddish-brown colour and started shouting whenever the film’s name is mentioned.

As the film nears its release date, Morgan was joined in his criticism of the film by fellow red-faced angry man Jeremy Clarkson who incoherently ranted that he wanted to strip the film naked and throw poo at it, which he bizarrely seemed to believe was an entirely normal thing to say.

It is thought the filmmakers are taking no notice of Morgan and Clarkson, that people will go and see the film on its release, and that ultimately the maniac ramblings of two strange old men will have no consequence to its ultimate success or failure.