Following record low viewing figures, the Academy has announced that next year’s Oscars will adopt a month-long tournament format that will culminate in the glittering ceremony to celebrate the winners.
“We realised that we had to shake things up while we were watching one of those technical awards that no one cares about – best hair or whatever,” said David Redford, an Academy representative.
“We were just sitting there, not caring, and it became clear that something had to be done because that was a whole world of dull.
“So, we kicked around a few ideas, and someone mentioned that the soccer World Cup seems pretty popular, so we’re going to run with that format for next year.
“We were pretty drunk, if I’m honest.”
The tournament will begin with a group stage in which actors will compete against each other, so Meryl Streep may get drawn against Emma Stone, Halle Berry and Rosario Dawson.
On the first night, Emma and Halle would compete, then Meryl and Emma and so on. At the end of the group stage, the contestant with the most points will go on to compete against other group-winners until Meryl ultimately triumphs.
“We think it could really prove a hit,” said Redford.
“Certainly can’t be any worse than this year’s ceremony anyway.”
There has been no formal announcement as yet on whether or not the Oscars will adopt any other World Cup traditions such as a massively corrupt bidding process to host the event or vuvuzelas.
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