It’s the weekend! Give praise to the Dark Ones below who will one day devour us all, and then watch these great films.
Friday
Iron Man 3 BBC1 22.35
Third film in the successful franchise about a man who is really good at ironing.
Last of the Mohicans AMC 18.50
Apparently, Daniel Day-Lewis was so dedicated to the role of Hawkeye that, in order to prepare, he travelled back in time to the 1700s and lived with the Mohican tribe for a year, and can actually be seen in some pictures from the period.
Vertigo Film4 13.05
James Stewart moons about San Francisco being scared of heights. Greatest film ever, according to Sight and Sound who have clearly never seen Road House.
Saturday
Skyfall ITV2 20.00
James Bond gets off with the sexy ladies and shoots the bad men. Whole thing turns into Home Alone at the end.
Con Air ITV4 21.30
Nic Cage’s ponytail saves the day in classic film about convicts hijacking a plane and crashing into Las Vegas. Based on early Ibsen play.
Crank ITV4 23.55
Statham klaxon! Jase’s heart is going to stop unless he sucks an electric cable and has sex in the road. Just an average day out for Jase.
Sunday
Whiplash BBC3 21.45
Man hits drum with stick. Everyone seems happy about. Far more shouting than is really necessary
John Wick: Chapter 2 5* 22.00
Still cross about his dog, John shoots everyone in the world again.
Smokey and the Bandit Paramount 19.00
Blockbuster entertainment from a time when Burt Reynolds was acceptable. Your weirdo Uncle’s favourite film.
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