New Star Wars prequel reveals the Sith’s origins lay in poorly-handled customer service call

A Star Wars prequel set thousands of years of years before the Skywalker saga will reveal that the origins of the Sith, an order of Jedi devoted to the Dark Side of the Force, lay in a poorly handled customer service call.

The film will begin with a normal Jedi and his wife popping to the shops to buy a new space-lawnmower, but when he gets home, he finds the manual poorly printed and illegible. He phones up the company’s customer service helpline but, after being left on hold for some twenty minutes, a disinterested call-handler just tells him to search for instructions on the internet.

“Naturally the Jedi decides to create a rogue Jedi order dedicated to hate, anger and greed that will last many thousands of years. I think it’s the only reasonable reaction to that sort of situation,” explained director Stewart James.

“People tend to think the Sith are a blight on the universe. But I think if they understood that the origins came from this normal guy who just wanted to cut his lawn then, well, I think we can all relate to that.”

Mr James went on to explain that was based on personal experience.

“That’s right. I went out and bought a computer with inadequate instructions. The customer service guy just told me to go on the web. I must confess, I immediately wanted to start a thousand-year-long order dedicated to power and fury. Who wouldn’t?”

The story follows on from the revelation in prequel The Phantom Menace that Palpatine started the Empire because a local delivery company claimed that they had tried to deliver his parcel but he was out when he’d actually waited in all day.