New Smurfs sequel to be directed by ‘Beau Travail’ director Claire Denis

Following the announcement that a sequel to The Lion King will be directed by Moonlight’s Barry Jenkins, Producers have announced that a new Smurfs sequel is coming and will be directed by French auteur Claire Denis.

The news has provoked excitement amongst fans of smurfs and French arthouse formalism.

“I, for one, am very excited to see what Denis can bring to the world of smurfs,” said Stewart James, a film blogger.

“Obviously we don’t know the plot as yet, but Denis is well known for her themes of colonial and post-colonial West Africa, so perhaps we could see a Smurfs movie set in Djibouti and deal with repressed homosexual love in a remote outpost of the Smurf French Foreign Legion.

“Finally.”
However, many believe that the new film will be a smurf-based remake of Denis’s most recent film High Life, in which convicts form the crew of spaceship en route to a black hole and are subject to a variety of medical experiments.

“That would be exciting. We could see some very interesting ideas explored by placing the smurfs in such an isolated and desperate state.

“How would smurfs react to forced artificial insemination? To celibacy? Is there a smurf criminal class that would populate the ship?”

Of course, the film is perhaps most notorious for the masturbatorium that allowed crew members to reveal themselves. Would we see a smurf masturbatorium?

Stewart James was enthusiastic.

“I certainly hope so, and a toy smurf mastabatorium released in time for the holidays would make a fantastic gift idea.”

The news of Claire Denis’ Smurfs film and Jenkins’ Lion King appears to have set a trend with further announcements that the Dardenne Brothers will be directing the third Angry Birds film and Lars Von Trier is making a new Gnomes film called Gnome-elancholia.