New Frozen 2 merchandise to include paper shredder, laxatives, and industrial slurry

frozen 2

With excitement building for the sequel to Disney’s classic Frozen, some of the merchandise that will be available to accompany the film has been revealed.

Alongside Frozen 2 princess costumes and Frozen 2 action figures will be a Frozen 2 paper shredder, some Frozen 2 laxatives and even an official Frozen 2 industrial slurry.

“The merchandise that accompanies a tent pole release such as Frozen 2 is more important than ever,” said Disney marketing expert Stewart James.

“One of the things we’ve missed in the past is adult merchandise.

“Imagine you’re heading up acquisitions for a major agricultural infrastructure project, we want to give you the opportunity to remember the great time you had at the movies with some Frozen 2 industrial slurry.

“Every time you see your slurry spreader spraying out that special Frozen 2 liquid animal waste, you’ll be reminded of how hilarious Olaf is.

The laxatives are thought to be the first time Disney has produced tie-in pharmaceuticals.

“No one likes that bloated feeling of constipation,” continued Mr James.

“But with our Frozen 2 laxatives, loosening your bowels will be more fun that ever.”

He also explained what to expect from the Frozen 2 paper shredder.

“It’s a paper shredder with the Frozen 2 logo on the side, what do you want from me?”

The new wider range of merchandise is expected to continue for future Disney releases with a range of Aladdin gynaecological equipment, some Onward mulch, and even some Toy Story 4 accounting software.

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