It’s the weekend! Time to dance naked in veneration of our Lord Pan.
And after that, watch these great movies.
Friday
Borg vs McEnroe BBC2 23.05
Bizarre tennis-based prequel to Kong vs Godzilla.
Police Academy ITV4 22.05
Documentary about America’s attempt to address their crisis in policing by making it hilarious.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture Film4 18.20
Ground-breaking, imaginative, classic sci-fi improved by making it five hours long and dressing everyone in beige.
Saturday
You’ve Got Mail 5* 17.10
Terrifying examination of life before Tinder.
The Bounty Hunter GREAT! Movies 18.50
Gerard Butler goes on quest to find coconut-flavoured chocolate bar.
Watchmen Film4 22.00
Grumpy superheroes are all grumpy and disaffected. It’s a deconstruction of the superhero mythos, apparently. Cool fights though.
Sunday
The Rock 5* 21.00
Nic Cage and Sean Connery battle Ed Harris who has occupied Dwayne Johnson and is threatening to blow him up.
The Da Vinci Code SyFy 20.00
Tom Hanks runs round the world explaining things to an attractive person. Better than the book, but then, so’s setting fire to your face.
Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus Horror Channel 16.45
Bizarre prequel to Borg vs McEnroe
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