Waking up for the 23,918th time on the same day, Stewart James was forced to reflect, once again, how unlucky it was to get stuck on a Groundhog Day-style timeloop on a Monday.
Every day, Mr James wakes up to find it’s Monday morning, the weekend’s over, he’s a little hungover and now he’s got to face an entire week of work. Again.
“Why couldn’t have been a Saturday,” he said sadly.
“I could have popped into town for a coffee, gone to the football and met some friends for a pint. That would be a fantastic day to get stuck in a timeloop.
“Instead, it’s a bloody Monday. And it’s raining a bit.
“You know what, I’d take a Friday. At least everyone is a bit happy in the office on a Friday. Or possibly, even a Thursday. I mean, there’s that getting-close-to-the-weekend thing going on that’s always quite nice.
“Just not this Monday.”
Mr James is uncertain what could break the timeloop.
“I really don’t know,” he said.
“I’ve tried all the obvious things – committing suicide, being a good person, getting off with Andie MacDowell. Nothing seemed to help.
“The only thing I can thing of is that I’ve got this North-West sales PowerPoint presentation to do. On the one hand, I could work really hard to finish that. On the other, I refuse to believe that there is any sort of cosmic importance to a PowerPoint presentation that would end up breaking a timeloop!”
Despite being stuck in the timeloop for tens of thousands of days, however, there is one thing Mr James won’t try, and that’s calling in sick.
“No, I’ve already had five days this year. Any more and I could face a one-to-one review with my line manager.
“Don’t fancy that.”
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this next week? No problem, click on this TV Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Be the first to comment