Local News programmes to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe

Kevin Feige has announced that all local news programmes will become part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe from next year.

“We have been focussed on blockbuster entertainment for too long,” said Feige.

“The acquisition of all local news programmes will allow the MCU to live up to its responsibility towards local communities.”

Local news will now take the form of shorter 6-10 part series that release every Wednesday and whilst each week will present individual local news stories, there will be a series-long arc that follows one particular story, with new revelations each week.

“Whilst the frequency of local news will drop, the production values will increase dramatically,” continued Feige.

“If there is a local news story about a hedgehog which, let’s be honest, there usually is, then our more extensive production budget will allow us to present that story in the most spectacular fashion

“Using state of the art technology, we can represent the hedgehog’s story as a special effects bonanza featuring incredible powers, mind-blowing explosions and breath-taking visuals.”

Stewart James is a local news reporter.

“This is great news,” he said.

“I’m really looking forward to working with the MCU. Only last week, I spent a day reporting from the side of the road about a blocked drain. All I could really do is stand next to the drain and say it was blocked, but now, with the MCU, we can use CGI and Hi-Definition to really show exactly how blocked that drain is.”

It is expected that the acquisition of local news programmes will see local news stories tie in with the big-screen Marvel films, so expect to see Thor bemoaning the opening hours of the local library and Captain Marvel damaging her car on a particularly deep pothole.