With the world in lockdown due to Covid-19, there are many questions: am I still safe to lick strangers’ faces? Can otters catch it? Is the new series of Queer Eye on yet?
Today, Screen Idle will attempt to address perhaps the most pressing question of all: Did videogames cause coronavirus?
“I think it’s clear that videogames caused coronavirus,” insists Kelly Grace, a person with an opinion.
“If you think about it, it’s obvious. When I was young, in the seventies, we didn’t really have videogames and there was no coronavirus then.
“Now we’ve got Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto and weird Japanese games about being a sad space robot with big breasts, and there’s coronavirus everywhere.
“That can’t just be a coincidence.”
Ms Grace also suggested a possible cure for the disease.
“Well, if people got off their Xboxes and went outside, they’d probably feel a lot less Covid-y. That’s just common sense.”
Scientist Stewart James was unconvinced.
“Well, there is reasonable evidence to suggest that the most likely scenario is that coronavirus was transmuted from bat to human at a market in China.”
However, Professor James seemed vague on one important aspect of his theory – had the bat been playing videogames prior to visiting the market?
“Had the bat- who is this? Don’t call this number again,” he said, before the line cut out for reasons that are unclear.
It seems that currently Kelly Grace is the only person prepared to speak out about the possibility that videogames cause Coronavirus. Could this be because ‘Big Videogame’ is trying to supress other voices on the matter? We can’t be certain.
In conclusion then, do videogames cause coronavirus?
Probably.
But without any evidence, sadly it seems unlikely that any action will be taken.
Next week: Did videogames cause you to stub your toe? Almost certainly.
Weekend Film Guide – featuring everything you need to lie on your sofa watching telly
(Image by digitalskennedy from Pixabay)
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