Horace Goes Skiing will be ‘best video game movie yet’, says producer

A new adaption of videogame classic Horace Goes Skiing is set to be the best video game movie ever made; producer Stewart James has claimed.

“It’s such a cinematic set up,” he said.

“It’s Horace, and he’s skiing. I mean, just that pitch alone is going to be enough to get people into theaters, but when people see the cast, the script, the budget, I think it’s going to be hard to argue against this being the best video game movie yet.”

Horace goes Skiing was a Sinclair Spectrum game from 1982. It followed Horace, a mouthless blob on legs, as he crossed the road to get some skis, and then skied down a hill.

“We’re pretty much sticking with that plot,” continued James.

“What else do you need – jeopardy, action, triumph, skill, humour, skiing – I mean, it’s got everything. You look at Citizen Kane and, you know, it’s great, but did it have skiing? No. I’m not saying, of course, that our Horace Goes Skiing adaptation will be better than Citizen Kane, I’ll let the public decide that.”

The cast has yet to be confirmed, however, Stewart teased some exciting possibilities.

“We’re talking to Meryl and Christian about Horace. You really need someone who can inhabit a role. I know Daniel Day Lewis has hinted that he’d be tempted to come out of retirement if anyone ever made a Horace game, so we’ll see.”

The budget is set at $120m, which will almost certainly make it the most realistic depiction of a mouthless blob doing some skiing ever seen in cinema. It is scheduled for a six-month shoot that will be based at Pinewood studios, but also take in Aspen, Aruba, Paris, Hong Kong, and Lagos.

Intriguingly, Stewart has dismissed any suggestion of Horace Goes Skiing being followed up by an adaption of its game sequel Horace and the Spiders.

“What, a blob jumping over some spiders? That would be an absolutely rubbish film.”