Microsoft has released some of Halo Infinite multiplayer customisation options that will be available to players and, finally, they will include the option to change curtains, cushions, pelmets and other soft-furnishings, and a variety of lovely bonnets that will let the Master Chief look nice and pretty in any setting.
“Soft-furnishings and bonnets were something we were determined to include from the start,” said lead designer Stewart James.
“The fans have been clamouring for the options to give the Chief some personalised cushions since Halo 3. They want him to be comfy when he’s not out saving the human race.
In between battles, the Master Chief will retire to a tasteful sitting room with some beautiful regency armchairs, some collectible China plates, and some lovely cushions.
Players will be able to customise all the soft furnishing of the sitting room.
“It’s very powerful,” continued Stewart
“If you want to mix Victorian-style curtains with Edwardian cushions, although, I can’t think why anyone would, but if you do want to, you can!”
Nice bonnets are another new addition to the Halo multiplayer customisation options.
“There has long been a feeling amongst players that Master Chief doesn’t really dress very prettily. So, in Halo Infinite, his costume will include a lovely little bonnet,” said Stewart.
“Initially, it will be a mottled green, in keeping with his suit, but as players level up in multiplayer, bonnet customisation really opens up and at high levels, we could see Master Chief wearing ornate Easter Bonnets with coloured eggs and a bunny, or a subtle, yet elegant silk Calash, the options really are unlimited.
“It will definitely be the prettiest Master Chief has ever looked.”
Although unconfirmed, it is thought that options to customise Master Chief’s bustle and corset will be introduced as post-launch DLC.
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Planned HBO remake of Ever Decreasing Circles with swearing and nudity cancelled
There was disappointment at the announcement that planned HBO remake of classic eighties Richard Briars sitcom Ever Decreasing Circles, featuring full-frontal nudity and swearing, has been cancelled.
The big-budget remake had been set to star Christian Slater as Martin and a hot chick with no bra as Ann.
The slick neighbour Paul had yet to be cast, but there were rumours that Bruce Willis had been circling the role and that rather than being an urbane hairdresser, Paul would have been an unhinged hitman for the mob.
“It’s a damn shame,” said Penny Egan, a producer attached to the remake.
“This could have been a classic HBO property. We had a whole bunch of nudity and swearing lined up, and that was a really hot chick with no bra.
“There was a season-long arc about the neighbour guy – Paul – having a bunch of sex with Ann and then Martin descending into a homicidal insanity as he realised.
“Which is pretty much the plot of the original. Except with less sensible knitwear.”
It is currently unknown exactly why the plans for the Ever Decreasing Circles remake had collapsed but rumours seem to indicate that it was because the whole thing was ‘completely f**king ridiculous.’
There was good news for fans of classic seventies Richard Briars sitcom The Good Life, however, as the HBO remake began filming with a scene featuring Sean William Scott and Halle Berry, both completely naked, as Tom and Barbara arguing about the ‘f**king marrows’ before shooting the goat in the face.
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