Gwyneth Paltrow to sell new handmade, organic, 100% all-natural vaginas from her Goop website

Leading scientist and star of Iron Man 2 Gwyneth Paltrow has announced that her well-being online magic nonsense shop Goop will stock a new line of 100% all-natural, handmade, organic vaginas.

The vaginas are individually made by old women whose lifetime of experience of having a vagina makes them uniquely qualified in vaginacraft.

The old women live in unspoilt remote villages in Tibet or India or somewhere equally convincing and will use only natural materials to construct the vagina, meaning each one will be entirely unique.

“For too long, women have had to put up with cheap, mass-produced vaginas made up from goodness knows what,” explained Paltrow.

“Goop’s new line of vaginas will change all that.

“Not only does the all-natural materials result in the most comfortable vagina ever created, but each one is infused with the ancient mysticism of old women in remote villages and that.”

Paltrow added that customers can feel a real peace-of-mind when they buy their vaginas from Goop

“Each of our 100% all-natural vaginas comes with a 5-year quality guarantee which means that, in the unlikely event a vagina goes wrong in some way, you simply return it to Goop and we will carry out repairs and have it returned to you in ten days.

“Obviously, we recommend replacing your vagina after five years.”

The vaginas will be available from June and retail for around $6000 which includes a special bamboo case in which to keep your vagina when not in use and a certificate saying that your vagina is approved by Gwyneth Paltrow.