Gossip: Chris Pratt spotted in steamy clinch with velociraptor co-star

In news that will shock fans, Chris Pratt has been spotted in a steamy clinch with his co-star Blue, a velociraptor who had a leading role in the recent Jurassic World films.

The pair were at a reunion of cast and crew of the most recent film, which completed filming last November, at a restaurant in Beverley Hills. After dessert, Blue excused herself to the alley by the side of the restaurant to try and catch, kill and eat a mouse. Pratt followed shortly afterwards.

It seems that they spent several minutes pleasantly chatting before the mood became more flirtatious, with Blue playfully stroking Pratt’s arm with her talon. Pratt responded by gently caressing the velociraptor’s mandible feathers.

Shortly afterwards, the pair fell into a steamy and passionate clinch. Their ardour was only dampened when they were interrupted by red-face co-star Jeff Goldblum who came to tell them that the party was drawing to a close.

Pratt looked a little shame-faced and the velociraptor gave an embarrassed roar before all three moved back inside.

“They were clearly into each other,” said one witness at the restaurant.

“You could see that, throughout the whole meal, they only had eyes for each other. I remember both Justice Smith and a Tyrannosaurus Rex trying to engage them in conversation but neither were interested, they were too wrapped up in each other.”

It is unknown if the romantic moment was part of a longer-running affair, or if it was just a one-off moment of passion, but Chris Pratt’s wife Katherine Schwarzenegger will likely be furious at the revelation.

Blue’s partner, Delta, is likely to be similarly annoyed and Pratt could well see himself brutally and savagely slaughtered because, if there’s one creature in which you don’t want to provoke a jealous rage, it’s a velociraptor.

91% of adverts mental, finds study

A study has found that 91% of all adverts are completely mental.

Only a handful of adverts for hats and cheese are currently not mental, but could well become mental at any time.

“I think we expected to see a reasonably high instance of adverts being mental,” said Anne Bale, Professor of Mental Things at Oxford University.

“But the sheer proportion of mental adverts was a shock.

“There’s adverts for huge dystopian gambling nightmares where bland men battle with other bland men on their phones.

“Talking pigs playing video games on the moon.

“The horrific appropriation of classic, much loved films to sell people the idea that banks aren’t total bastards.

“Tap-dancing cats, cowboys down the pub, a Canadian Mountie shouting at people in a hotel, everyone talking like they’re in Toast of London, and far too much David Mitchell for any normal human being to reasonably cope with.

Professor Bale went on to explain that there have always been mental adverts.

“Oh yes, the Hoffmeister bear, those TDK adverts with the man in the chair and any perfume advert, ever.

“But the sheer number of mental adverts in this survey has definitely come as a shock.”

The survey presents the terrifying prospect of all adverts being mental within a year or so and that can only lead to the bizarre conclusion that people enjoy them.

The study only applies to UK adverts as, in the US, they call adverts ‘commercials,’ and would, therefore, struggle to comprehend the intent of the study.