Bob Ross’s The Joy of Painting has been a mainstay of TV schedules around the globe and the repeats of which on BBC4 have done more than anything baring cheap wine to hold the country’s sanity together during the pandemic.
Fans of the programme have, therefore, been left shocked by archive footage that has emerged showing the genial artist calling some trees ‘little green b*****ds’ and throwing a furious tantrum that leaves his equipment in ruins.
The footage begins with an avuncular Ross painting a valley and after completing a stream he utters his catchphrase – “and we’ll put some happy little trees just here.”
However, after painting for in silence for a minute or so, you can hear the painter say “No, that’s no good, let me just-“
He then paints in silence for another minute and says, louder this time – “Goddamnit, dumb-ass trees.”
He continues painting, the strokes become more violent as his face contorts in rage before he finally erupts.
“Goddamn stupid-ass trees, you stupid little green b******ds. That’s not right. That is terrible. Terrible. You’re a bad painter, Ross. A bad painter who can’t even paint a goddamn tree. You’re worthless, these trees are worthless, the whole damn thing is worthless.”
Ross then snaps his paintbrush in half. He pauses, his breathing heavy and ragged, and kicks out at the easel, knocking it to the floor. He picks it up, but it falls straight over again.
“You little green b*****ds” he rages, before picking up the easel and smashing it against the floor several times, shouting “little green b*****ds” with each smash.
He then walks off screen and can be heard shouting “I’m getting a drink. Goddamn little green b*****ds.”
Next month: we examine footage of David Attenborough stamping on a frog and shouting ‘Gotcha! You slimy green sh*t.’
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New series of Any Old Crap starting on Channel 5
Fans of Any Old Crap have been left thrilled to learn that a new series will begin on Channel 5 this week.
Channel 5 has been the home of Any Old Crap since it was founded in 1997 and has consistently produced new series of Any Old crap regularly since then.
“Yeah, we’re always happy to put out another new series of Any Old Crap,” said Channel 5 controller Jenny Kelly.
“We’ve always proudly supported Any Old Crap at Channel 5 and will continue to do so for as long as people remain happy to watch Any Old Crap.”
Malcolm Randy has been a fan of Any Old Crap on Channel 5 since his divorce in 2005.
“I love watching Any Old Crap on Channel 5,” he said, clearly excited about the new series.
“It gives me something to do in the evenings after a hard day’s work. I mean, you don’t always want to watch some high-brow thing on BBC4 about Italian Sculptors’ use of negative space. Sometime, you just want to settle back with a nice toast topper and enjoy an evening of Any Old Crap on Channel 5.”
For viewers who can’t get enough of Any Old Crap on Channel 5, remember there are repeats of Any Old Crap on ITV4 and Dave at most times.
(Image by Haiden Goggin. Cropped. Licence details)
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