It’s Easter, which means you get to eat a mountain of chocolate that’s massively over-priced because it’s shaped like an egg.
So, while you’re doing that, why not watch these top Easter films.
‘Good’ Friday
The Sound of Music BBC1 17.45
Nun sings at Nazis till they go away.
X-Men: Days of Future Past E4 21.00
Wolverine travels back in time to make sure his Mum kisses his Dad at Prom.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone ITV2 14.55
Boy plays with his wand until it goes off magically.
Saturday
The Emoji Movie Channel 5 (obvs) 16.30
Proof that humanity is doomed
The Graduate Sony Movies Classic 21.00
Dustin Hoffman moons about, has sex with someone’s mum, then moons about a bit more.
Here’s to you Mrs Roberts.
Frankenstein Horror Channel 14.30
Just a thought, maybe if they’d called him Frankenstein’s chum instead of Frankenstein’s monster, he’d have been a bit less monstery. Nominative determinism at work.
Easter Sunday
The Caine Mutiny Sony Movies Classic 21.00
Michael’s had enough and takes over.
We Bought a Zoo Film4 18.35
Matt Damon buys a zoo, goes on about it.
Casino Royale ITV4 20.00
Fact: The only James Bond adventure in which the entire story hinges on a plot point about his balls.
Bank Holiday Monday
Highlander BBC2 22.30
Sean Connery plays Spanish bloke with Scottish accent. Chris Lambert plays Scottish bloke with French accent. Warden from Shawshank Redemption gets cross because everyone’s doing the wrong accent.
Sense and Sensibility Channel 5 14.15
Far too many bonnets, but it’ll keep your mum off the streets for a few hours
School of Rock Sky One 18.00
Searing indictment of the paucity of quality rock-based education in modern America.
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