Fears Road House remake could remove complex themes of original and become dumb action flick

Jake Gyllenhaal who will take the lead role in the Road House remake

Fears are growing that the currently in-development Road House remake could remove the complex themes and philosophies of the original and be reduced to a dumb action flick.

“Whilst I welcome the chance to introduce Road House to a new generation, my concern is that we lose the complexities and subtleties at work in the original movie,” explained Stewart James, Professor of Road House at Oxford University.

The 1989 Road House was hailed by critics and audiences alike on its release, with its profound insights into the human condition leaving many in tears and leading to the invention of the internet, collapse of the Berlin Wall and rapprochement with the Eastern Block.

“It will take a lot to match that,” continued Professor James.

“I understand Jake Gyllenhaal will take the role of Dalton. He’s a fine actor, but the layered performance required for Dalton may elude him, as it might any actor alive today, no matter how accomplished. Dalton is at once a rich and complex human being, and also a meta-commentary on the nature of human beings and our place in the world and in history. He’s also really good at punching people.

“Of course, you’ve got the antagonist – Brad Wesley. I just hope they don’t make him some stereotyped bad guy with a monster truck. Because that’s definitely not what he is in the original.”

The Road House remake is now in production and will be released on Amazon Prime. If it proves the equal of the original then it could bring about the end to the Ukraine war, ease tensions with China, and put an end to the global economic problems.


*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’

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