Fair-minded maniac fits visible timer to bomb to give police a chance

A maniac terrorising the city with a series of bombs has made sure that each bomb has a visible timer attached to it to give police a fair chance.

“It’s actually quite fiddly to get a timer attached to a bomb like that,” explained Stewart ‘Boom’ James, the deranged maniac who has so far placed four bombs around the city, killing and maiming many.

“The simplest thing is to create a bomb with an internal timer, but that means that when the bomb is discovered you wouldn’t know when it was going to go off, which seems a bit unfair. I may be a complete psychopath, but I don’t want people to think I’m not fair.

“So, yeah, it takes a bit longer, but I always make sure I fit a visible timer. It’s important to give the police a chance.”

Kelly Grace is the maverick cop who will do anything to stop James’ reign of terror.

“Goddamn psycho maniac is nuts. Just setting off bombs everywhere, killing anyone he wants, he’s insane,” he said.

“But, to be fair, putting those timers on the bombs is pretty decent of him. I discovered his last one in a car under that office and, because it had a timer on it, I had chance to escape the building just in time before the whole thing blew up behind me. Possibly in slow motion, I didn’t check.”

There has been some speculation that, because the maniac is a fair-minded sort of person, Detective Grace will ultimately rescue him if, for example, he actually finds himself trapped in a building with a bomb that he himself set in what could only be described as a tragically ironic turn of events.

“Nah,” confirmed the detective.

“Screw that guy.”