Escaped Death Star stormtrooper pretty nervous about annual appraisal

A stormtrooper who was able to escape the Death Star before it was destroyed by the Rebellion has revealed that he’s pretty nervous about his upcoming annual appraisal.

“Well, it’s the elephant in the room isn’t it? I was unable to stop the indestructible space weapon being destroyed, I guess we’re going to spend a lot of time talking about that,” said the Stormtrooper, Geoff.

“It doesn’t matter how many S.M.A.R.T targets I hit, I’m still one of the guys who couldn’t stop the Death Star getting blown up.”

Geoff is planning on getting the Death Star controversy out of the way first, and then try and turn the conversation on to his achievements.

“Well, actually, blown-up Death Star accepted, I’ve actually had a really good year. My patrolling has been exemplary, I actually even developed a new patrol route that was a bit more efficient. I’m very punctual, I’m brilliant at instilling terror in innocent people and I’ve never once banged by head on a door frame. Not like some people.”

However, despite the quality of his general work, Geoff is resigned to not receiving a pay rise this year.

“No, I mean, it’s fair enough. I could have done with one, you know, what with the price of the galactic housing market, but it’s fine. I get it. We were meant to stop the Death Star being destroyed by one guy in a little spaceship and we didn’t. You’re not getting a pay rise for that.”

Happily, Geoff has heard of an opportunity to get his career back on track.

“Yes, apparently, they’re building another Death Star over by Endor. If I get assigned to that one, then that could be a real boost for me. I mean, it’s not like the Rebels are going to be able to blow up two Death Stars, is it?”