Events at Andra Day’s Oscars after-party took a turn for the dramatic as a drunken Vanessa Kirby demanded Frances McDormand meet her in the car park for a fight over the Best Actress Oscar.
“Venessa was pissed man, straight up angry,” said a witness to events.
“She hit the whisky as soon as she arrived and I think most people could see it wasn’t going to end well.”
Sure enough, after two hours of heavy drinking, Ms Kirby emerged from the Ladies’ washrooms with vomit down her elegant scarlet Christian Dior gown and proceeded to harangue the DJ shouting ‘play some metal, you pussy. Let’s rock this lame-ass party.’
It was after being ignored by the DJ that she spotted Frances McDormand.
“Oh man, it got ugly,” confirmed the insider.
“She just screamed – ‘MCDORMAND’ – and bundled through the crowd to where Frances was chatting with friends.
“She got right into Francis’s face and kept saying that they should settle it like Meryl Streep and Julie Andrews did in ’83 – with a fight in the car park.”
Eventually Ms Kirby was led away by friends, and the fight was prevented.
In an unrelated incident, Ms McDormand’s Oscar was stolen later in the evening. Ms Kirby is not suspected of having anything to do with the theft as her and Viola Davis had gone home to smoke weed and eat tacos.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
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Tarantino Star Trek to be called Star Motherf***ing Trek, Motherf***er
Further details have emerged about Quentin Tarantino’s take on Star Trek with the name being confirmed as Star Motherf***ing Trek, Motherf***er
The plot will feature a captured klingon being tortured in a spaceship hanger whilst 50s surf music plays and the crew of the USS Enterprise sit around smoking Red Apple cigarettes and reading comic books.
It will probably also do that Tarantino thing of starting in the middle, ending at the beginning and having the start somewhere inbetween the two
“We’re enormously excited to have such a talent as Quentin Tarantino working on Star Motherf***ing Trek, Motherf***er,” said a studio insider
“We’re already planning a roles for Samuel L Jackson and Michael Madsen, probably as some sort of space-hitmen who get into incredibly violent yet quite amusing scrapes.”
It is thought that a soundtrack full of cheap, old, out of copyright music interspersed with men talking will be lined up to tie in with the release of Star Motherf***ing Trek, Motherf***er with an expanded edition following several months later with slightly more talking in between the music.
It is unknown whether Mr Tarantino is planning to take a cameo role, but fans of Star Trek are hoping not.
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