Dragon Age 4 setting confirmed to be late 80s Manchester

Further news has emerged of the in-development Dragon Age 4, including a confirmed setting of Manchester in the late 1980s.

“The late 1980s in Manchester was a vibrant and exciting time period,” explained designer Stewart James.

“You have acid house, the rise of the Stone Roses and Charlatans, the global fame of the Hacienda – for a few years, Manchester was the centre of the world.

“What better place for a new Dragon Age game.”

The plot is unconfirmed, but it is rumoured to be set around Happy Mondays bassist Paul Ryder – a young Grey Warden from Thedas who has travelled to Manchester escape the Blight and try and make it as a pop star.

Players will be tasked with releasing regular singles, including 12-inch remixes, appearing on Top of the Pops, and investigating and defeating a darkspawn incursion in Salford.

What is confirmed, though, is that Dragon Age 4 will have, by far, the best soundtrack of any Dragon Age game.

“Wrote For Luck, Fools Gold, Weirdo, This Is How It Feels, Can You Dig It – these are some of the best pop songs ever made,” continued Mr James.

“We’re fairly sure that we’re the first dark fantasy game that features all of these classic tunes. You will be the funkiest wizard in the history of the fantasy genre.”

Dragon Age 4 will be called Dragon Age: Twisting my Melon and will feature further DLC that will task Ryder with reforming the Mondays for the nostalgia circuit in the early 2000s whilst hunting down a corrupt dragon in Rochdale.

Avatar 3 to take place in James Cameron’s mind.

James Cameron has announced that the third in his series of Avatar films will take place entirely in his head.

Viewers will need to use a revolutionary new ‘mind-meld’ technique that will allow them access the Titanic director’s brain and have Avatar play out in his imagination.

“James Cameron is one of cinema’s greatest pioneers,” said Cameron expert Stan Chaplin

“For Avatar, he really developed 3D technology, for Titanic, he invented a camera that would withstand the depths of the Atlantic and for Terminator 2 he famously invented his ‘time camera’ that allowed him to film in the future when computers had taken over the world.”

“I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that he’d been able to create the technology that allows people to access his brain.”

The developments could make the third Avatar unlike anything previously seen in the movies.

“I think all bets are off when it comes to what James has planned for Avatar 3. It’s going to be wild. It’s going to be insane. It’ll be full of crazy stuff we can’t even conceive of like talking dogs or upside-down houses.”

“Crazy.”

Mr Cameron is so confident of the success of Avatar 3 that plans are already underway for Avatar 4 to take place in the neural net of James Cameron’s robot clone.