Doctors successfully transplant plot into old Fast and Furious film

Doctors have successfully managed to transplant a plot into one of the older Fast and Furious films, in what has been hailed as a scientific, and cinematic breakthrough.

“This is a whole different scale to what we’ve done before,” explained Stewart James, the doctor of film history who led the transplant.

“Transplanting a plot into 2 Fast 2 Furious is a real achievement. Previously, we’d taken one of those early Saturday morning cartoons which just has a load of cheaply animated toys shouting at each other, and transplanted in the plot from an old Bugs Bunny film. That was just a 5-minute cartoon though. We’re talking about a two-hour film here.”

The team scoured Amazon and found a film about a drug-dealing Nascar team starring Scott Baio that no human being had ever watched. They removed the plot for that film, and held it in suspension outside of the film. It was there that the trickiest part of the process took place.

“We had to actually change the plot whilst it was outside of the film. The plot was about Nascar, obviously Fast and Furious is street racing. It wasn’t an exact match,” said Doctor James.

“So, whilst the plot was suspended outside of a film, we removed all references to Nascar, and replaced them with Street Racing instead.

“Once we’d done that, we were able to insert the plot into 2 Fast 2 Furious.”

The successful procedure means that now, for the first time, people will be able to enjoy 2 Fast 2 Furious.

It also opens up the possibility for other films to have plots transplanted into them leading to the tantalising possibility that, at some point in the future, we could see Attack of the Clones actually have a plot.

“Steady on,” laughed Dr James, “We’re not miracle workers.”