Footage has emerged of natural history legend David Attenborough accepting what appears to be a suitcase of money from a dolphin months before making a nature documentary that was extremely sympathetic to dolphins.
“I know David’s career has been based on his love for the natural world,” said a BBC insider.
“But, even so, we were a little taken aback when Dolphins: Why They’re So Bloody Brilliant came out.
“It was just dolphins, dolphins, dolphins. Dolphins are really intelligent. Dolphins are beautiful creatures. Dolphins are the greatest animals in the universe. Everyone was like – alright David, get a room.
“I guess we now know why.”
The BBC has launched an investigation into the matter, but demands are growing for swifter, more decisive action.
“He made us look like a right bunch of nobs,” said Willy, a whale who’d been freed in the 90s.
“There are scenes of whales swimming into things, looking stupid. He deliberately made us look fat. The voiceover gives it away, this is a direct quote – ‘Look at this whale, what a great big fat idiot. He’s nowhere near as good as dolphins’ – I mean, that says it all.”
Willy has called for the BBC to issue an immediate apology, pull the programme from its streaming services and have someone make a pro-whale documentary for balance reasons.
David Attenborough has yet to comment on the matter but it is unlikely he’ll be able to maintain his silence for long amidst fears the scandal could grow. There are already calls to investigate the background of programmes like Gorillas: Better Than Monkeys, Elephant’s? Rubbish Compared to Hippos, and Vultures: They’re Lovely Really.
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