It has recently been announced that a new movie based on Candy Crush Saga is in the works and it’s time that everybody took a long hard look at themselves.
Playing Candy Crush in the toilet is the number one activity of middle-aged office workers who can’t face what’s become of their lives and as such there has been speculation that someone would get desperate enough to make a film based on the game.
“Plot? Oh god, I don’t know, I suppose it’ll be about a piece of candy with big eyes who learns an important lesson,” said Emma Taylor, a young director who thought that working in the film industry would turn out better than this.
“You know, the candy’s a worrier, he’s not great at lining up in a row and exploding, and so he and his fat but nice best friend go on an adventure to find somewhere where they don’t have to line up and explode but then learn an important lesson about doing your best and go back home to where they line up in a row and explode.”
“I went to film school, you know.”
The Candy Crush movie will come out in theaters in the next year or so, at which point the human race needs to have a bug sit down and think about what it’s done.
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