Ave it you melts! – Weekend Film Guide 16th December

It’s the weekend, time to set off on that epic quest with a plucky group of misfits to banish the evil wizard from the realm. But if that sounds like a lot of bother, then why not watch these great films instead.

Friday

Snatch Channel 4 23.55

Cockney men do cockney things in cockneyland. Oi Oi! ‘Ave it you melts! …and so forth.

Speed 2: Cruise Control ITV4 23.05

A sequel to the best action film of the 90s? Well this is sure to be fantastic, I’ll certainly tune in for this

….Later…

Aaaaaaah! My eyes!

Merry Exmas GREAT! Movies Christmas

Jennifer Christmas is a successful book illustrator (or something similarly acceptably womanly). She doesn’t really have time for Christmas, but when she gets trapped in an abandoned mine with nine of her ex-boyfriends, she learns the true meaning of Christmas…and boyfriends.

Something like that.

Saturday

Iron Man 3 BBC1 22.55

Third film in the successful franchise about a man who is really good at ironing.

Quantum of Solace ITV1 20.00

James Bond has to save the world from a quantum. But not any kind of quantum, the worst kind of quantum, a quantum of…solace.

Father of the Bride Comedy Central 17.55

Creepy dad can’t bear the thought of daughter having sexual relationship with another man. Wacky incestuous undertone comedy classic.

Sunday

A Christmas Carol ITV3 17.55

Buckle up, because there’s going to be a version of Scrooge on somewhere every 20 minutes for the next week or so.

Unforgiven Paramount Network 21.00

Grumpy cowboy kills everyone and then feels sad about it.

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