Anne Hathaway discovers new continent

Anne Hathaway is perhaps the busiest person in Hollywood.

Not content with being a hugely successful and Oscar-winning actress, several months ago, she began an expedition to explore the globe, and discover new land for the Queen.

Captain Hathaway set off from Portsmouth, England in February with a view to heading south round the Horn of Africa and exploring uncharted waters.

Earlier this week, she announced that she had discovered a new continent, to be known as Hathawania.

“It had been a testing period for the crew,” she explained.

“The sails were flat, the sea still, and there was nought to eat but biscuits made from the coxwain’s urine.

“But then, one day last week, the barrelman cried ‘land’ and an exotic beach came into view.

“We discovered a scorching land filled with a friendly, if coarse, native people who spoke a bastardised version of English and could drink heroic quantities of a local ale they called ‘lager.’

“I have named this place Hathawania and intend to trade with the locals as they have a ready supply of this ‘lager’ and also hats with corks hanging off them.”

After establishing the trade rights for Hathawania on behalf of the Crown, Hathaway will return home.

However, fans of the acting skills of Anne Hathaway are liable to be disappointed as it appears the Les Miserables star has been bitten by the exploration bug and her agent has suggested she is already planning a new expedition next year.

Apparently, she intends to find the rumoured land to the west of England where natives drink nothing but a black ale and worship an ancient god by the name of ‘Bono.’