It’s the weekend! Time to take to the woods and dance naked around the fire until the spirit of Pan infuses your very being. Or you could watch these great films. Your call.
Friday
Basic Instinct GREAT! Movies 21.00
Nineties classic that caused huge controversy over shocking scene in which Michael Douglas wears a jumper with no shirt underneath.
Legends of the Fall GREAT! Movies 18.35
Brad Pitt, Anthony Hopkins, and loads of people from the nineties moon about on a ranch in Montana. There’s probably a tragic death at some point and everyone learns a valuable lesson.
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus Horror Channel 13.00
Yeah. Slow day today. Is the Olympics on? Yeah, it’s the Olympics. Means we have to watch Moldovans on sledges instead of cool old eighties action movies.
Saturday
Sicario Channel 4 23.35
Larks a plenty as wacky mismatched gang travel to Mexico, get in scrapes and have a lovely old time.
Minority Report Sky Showcase 21.00
Tom Cruise travels into the future to see crimes in the past. Colin Farrell gets a bit over-excited and everything looks like a PS2 game.
Aquarium of the Dead Syfy 20.00
I don’t know. I despair, frankly. What, I guess a load of fish in an aquarium die and then come back as zombie fish and everyone has to escape. This is a rubbish, rubbish weekend for films.
Sunday
Kramer vs Kramer GREAT! Movies 21.00
Dustin Hoffman and Meryl Streep go to war to decide, once and for all, who is the best Kramer.
Chocolat AMC 18.45
Woman opens sweet shop. That’s literally it. A woman opens a sweet shop, and they made a film about it. I hope you’ve got Netflix this weekend.
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