ITV has announced a new prime time celebrity hostage negotiation show for the Saturday tea-time slot.
“The format is simple, yet tremendously exciting,” said an ITV spokesman
“Celebrities are sent into a variety of tier one danger zones across the world in order to negotiate the release of hostages from a terrorist group or rogue state.”
“For example, we’d fly Ken Bruce into Somalia where he’d negotiate the release of local Christians from Boko Haram.”
“The fun of the show would be to see how the celebrities could use their talents gleaned from their successful entertainment, sport or political careers in the field of hostage negotiation.”
“Would Ken would try and engage the notoriously unstable Boko Haram leadership in a light hearted pop quiz? Perhaps he’d try to break the ice with some light-hearted banter? Or he might just simply play a load of terrible records from the late eighties.”
“We could see Len Goodman running Taliban tribal leaders through a jolly Charleston to lighten the mood, Carol Vorderman giving the Continuity IRA some tricky maths problems or Jimmy Tarbuck simply having a right old laugh with Hezbollah.”
“We’re particularly interested to see how Dean Gaffney handles the Mexican drug cartels, and I can tell you now that Amy Childs’ relationship with the elders of Al Mourabitoun is both surprising and hilarious.”
‘You’re a celebrity’ is set to run for twelve weeks, but with Mrs Brown from Mrs Brown’s Boys set to perform a particularly delicate set of negotiations with ISIS, it’s possible events could conspire to shorten the run.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this next week? No problem, click on this TV Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Hilarious!