It’s the weekend! Time for the masses to rise up and seize the means of production. Or, if that seems like a lot of bother, watch these great films instead.
Friday
Pearl Harbour 5* 21.00
Dastardly Japanese invade, taking advantage of Hawaii being distracted by Ben Affleck having a big sulk about his girlfriend.
A Shoe Addicts Christmas GREAT! Movies Christmas
I’m guessing that it’s a lady who likes shoes more than Christmas, then she gets taught a valuable lesson by an orphan and learns that the true meaning of Christmas isn’t shoes after all (but she still likes shoes).
Le Mans ‘66 Film4 21.00
Or, in English, The Men’s 66
Saturday
Armageddon ITV4 22.30
Bruce Willis saves the world by digging a big hole. No one says ‘armageddon outta here,’ which is, I think, a sad indictment of the state of the world.
Taken 2 5* 23.35
After letting his daughter get kidnapped by Euro-bastards, Liam Neeson himself gets kidnapped by Euro-bastards. So much for that special set of skills, eh Liam?
The Greatest Showman Film4 18.55
Wolverine invents circuses by singing a load of absolutely banging pop songs
Sunday
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey E4 17.45
Dwarves kidnap hobbit after staging home invasion and singing at him.
God, these films are on a lot.
Saving Private Ryan 5* 21.00
Forrest Gump has to rescue Jason Bourne from war.
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