Ah, the weekend. Time to have a go at the garden, go for a walk in the country, or lie on the sofa in your pants eating corn flakes straight from the box wondering if it’s too early to start drinking yet.
Here’s our guide to the wealth of movies available to you while you do so.
Saturday
The Shining BBC2 21.15
Hard-working Dad is tormented by terrifying visions conjured up by his evil son. Wife enjoys big pantry.
Braveheart Sony Movies 21.00
Mel Gibson paints his face blue and shouts until someone gives him an Oscar.
The Longest Day Film4 14.35
Film about Wednesdays.
Sunday
The Greatest Showman Channel 4 19.00
Wolverine invents circuses by singing a load of absolutely banging pop songs.
Seabiscuit Sony Movies 18.15
Horse gets teased about having a silly name so wins all the races. Stars Spiderman (not as the horse).
Kiss the Girls Film4 23.2
One of the sixty bazillion serial killer movies released in the wake of Silence of the Lambs. Plot is probably that an unconventional cop has to track down a hyper-intelligent serial killer who turns out to be his partner. It’ll be something like that, they all were.
Netflix Film of the Weekend
Bram Stoker’s Dracula 01.25 Film4
After his girlfriend dies, Transylvanian bloke throws huge strop and tortures Keanu Reeves until he stops speaking cockney.
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