What? This whole article was just a dream? That’s so lame

It has been revealed that, in a desperate attempt to resolve a wildly escalating series of unlikely events, this entire article is just a dream.

Beginning with the statement that reading the article can make you stronger and more physically attractive to the opposite sex, the article got more intriguing with a quote from Tom Hardy.

“Before reading this article, I was a weak little man with a face like an arse, now I’m a top film star” he said, “And I’m Tom Hardy, so you can definitely trust that a quote attributed to me on the internet is definitely true.”

After making claims about its potency, the article began to spiral off into increasingly odd claims about its own provenance, initially claiming to be written by Brighton Rock author Graham Greene.

“I confirm I wrote this article, just after writing The End of the Affair,” said Greene, who’d died thirty years before the article was written.

The point of the article appeared, initially, to tell you that you personally had won the lottery and secured a starring role in a new Star Wars film, before getting married to Brad Pitt and Margot Robbie in what the article called ‘the most attractive polygamous relationship in history.’

However, it quickly became apparent that the article was then about to reveal something truly profound about the nature of life and that you were on the cusp of understanding the truth of the entire nature of existence.

Which was the exact moment that it was revealed that the article was, in fact, a dream, and that everything it said could be discounted.

The whole thing was, frankly, a let-down and it would have been much better if they’d have bothered to come up with a proper ending, rather than just lamely saying that the whole thing was just a dream and trusting you to come back for another article tomorrow.

But they didn’t.