It’s the weekend! Time to put your plans for terrible and bloody revenge into action. But if that sounds like a lot of work, then why not watch these great films instead.
Friday
Carry on Teacher Film4 17.05
Searing indictment of post-war education in Britain. Directly responsible for sweeping school reform prohibiting the use of double entendre as a learning technique.
The Holiday ITV2 20.00
Attractive people go on holiday ad do a Christmas.
Risen Film4 18.50
Searing drama about baking some bread.
Saturday
War of the Worlds Channel 4 22.10
Angry aliens live underground and tiny Tom Cruise has to run away from them.
Bad Boys Sky Showcase 21.15
Tough, macho cops Mike Lowrey and the other one take on a drugs kingpin in a desperate attempt to cover the deep, homosexual love they clearly have for each other.
The Abyss Film4 18.15
Underwater aliens get cross and threaten to destroy the world. Fair enough.
Sunday
The Three Musketeers Sky Showcase 19.25
Apparently, Dumas wanted to put a giant flying steam powered ship in the book but was worried it might turn out to be completely stupid. This film doesn’t share that worry.
Transformers: Age of Extinction E4 17.15
Robots shout at you for several hours then turn into cars. People actually voluntarily went to the cinema to watch this.
The Social Network GREAT! Movies 21.00
Grumpy computer man does a Facebook. Features much impossibly speedy typing and writing algorithms on windows.
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