It’s the weekend! Time to go roller-blading with cockatoos, as is traditional. But if you have no roller-blades or cockatoos then why not just drink cheap cider until the pain stops and watch these great films.
Saturday
Star Wars VI: A New Hope ITV2 17.25
Droid wanders off in the night, leading to massacre of owners. Redeems himself later by turning off a giant space-bin.
Home Alone Film4 14.30
Well, it’s February, all your New Year resolutions have gone to balls, you’re going to have to deal with a valentines Harvester meal in a few days, and it’s unseasonably mild.
Time for a feel good Christmas classic.
Will you sort it out Film4! It stopped being Christmas ages ago.
Rocky III ITV 22.45
Rocky beats up B. A. Baracus. Impressive, I mean I probably couldn’t do it. But feels underwhelming when you think that in the next film he beats up Russia.
Sunday
Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back ITV2 18.25
Luke goes to live with magic goblin in a swamp. Han unable to commit to Leia even before being frozen solid. Probably because she got off with her brother at the start of the film. Weirdos.
The Hangover 5* 21.00
Horrible blokes go on a stag do. Essentially Brighton on a Saturday night.
Atlantic Rim Horror Channel 02.35
Exotic sex act.
New at the cinema
The Lego Movie 2
Massive toy advert. Still, as massive toy adverts go, it’s better than Smurfs
All is True
Ken, Sir Ian, and Dame Judi in film about Shakespeare. The luvviest thing that has ever happened.
DVD of the weekend
Groundhog Day
Nightmarish tale of what it would be like if every day was February forever.
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