It’s Friday again! Time to pretend to have a cold so you don’t have to go round your brother-in-law’s house and listen to him witter on about the new conservatory he’s put in.
It’s not a new wing on Downton Abbey, mate. Get over yourself.
Here’s our guide to all the films you can watch instead. I bet you a pound there’s Lord of the Rings on.
Friday
As Good As It Gets 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Jack Nicholson is horrible to a waitress and love, naturally, blossoms. From a time when mediocre romantic comedies hoovered up Oscars.
Deathgasm 02.40 Horror Channel
No idea. But, come on, it’s called Deathgasm. Why wouldn’t you watch this?
Green Street 01.15 ITV4
Cockney Frodo has a right old tear-up with football hardnuts. Sounds bloody awful, but please yourself.
Saturday
About Time 23.10 Channel 4
Time travelling romantic comedy set next Thursday.
Sense and Sensibility 11.35 Sony Movie Channel.
Far too many bonnets, but your mum’ll like it.
Smokey and the Bandit 17.10 ITV4
Blockbuster entertainment from a time when Burt Reynolds was acceptable. Your weirdo Uncle’s favourite film.
Sunday
Batman Begins 20.00 Channel 5
Cinema’s grumpiest superhero has a big sulk. Featuring Katie Holmes for some reason.
Jane Eyre 14.10 BBC2
More bonnets. Your mum’s going to have a lovely old time this weekend
No Escape 21.00 Film Four
Sadly not 90s Ray Liotta prison classic, but some faintly xenophobic nonsense about Americans having to escape from scary foreign place. Worth it for Pierce Brosnan’s cockney accent.
Be the first to comment