It’s the weekend, and as it’s been January for about eight years, the only sensible course of action is to avoid natural light and human contact and watch these great films instead.
Saturday
As Good As It Gets 23.15 Sony Movies
Jack Nicholson is horrible to a waitress and love, naturally, blossoms. From a time when mediocre romantic comedies hoovered up Oscars.
X-Men 2 Channel 4 23.05
Bald chap and Magnet man go on adventures with their friends Barbie Girl, the Human Torch, and Jeff the Mutant.
The Day After Tomorrow 5* 21.00
America gets invaded by weather. Dennis Quaid plays a man who inexplicably walks across weathery America because his son is trapped in a library. None of it makes any sense and the wolf effects look like I did them.
Cracking movie.
Sunday
Cliffhanger ITV4 21.00
Sylvester Stallone beats up a mountain.
Interstellar Sony Movies 15.30
Spaceman goes to live in a book case because all the crops are knackered. Returns home in the future when his daughter has turned into Jessica Chastain.
Harry Brown 5* 23.20
Michael ‘I’m a right old cockney geezer, me’ Caine duffs up some kids on the estate because modern things are awful and everything was better in the sixties.
New at the cinema this week
Everything – The Real Thing Story
Features Billy Ocean and Kim Wilde and, presumably, The Real Thing – the only convincing reason I’ve seen for leaving your house in January.
DVD of the week
Jurassic World
Giant lizards get cross and eat everyone. Woman wears controversial shoes throughout.
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