The weekend is upon us, so why not cancel those plans to go to the pub as it’ll be far too noisy and there’ll be nowhere to sit. Instead buy a big bucket of malteasers and lay on the sofa watching these great films.
Saturday
The Fugitive 11.00 ITV4
Harrison Ford grows and beard and runs away.
What the hell is a ‘hard target search’ anyway?
Pretty Woman 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Feelgood prostitution classic. The eighties were weird.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 17.55 ITV2
Johhny Depp plays Willy Wonka as gurning manchild in inexplicably popular remake of inexplicably popular child torture classic.
Sunday
The Sixth Sense 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Everyone is a ghost except Bruce Willis’s wig.
The Christmas Dragon 10.50 Sony Movie Channel
Festive Game of Thrones spinoff in which Daenerys tries to have a traditional, old-fashioned Christmas but the Dothraki keep trying to have sex with the turkey and murder the Christmas tree.
American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt 01.50 CBS Action
Early Merchant Ivory adaptation. Probably. Like anyone’s going to stay up and prove me wrong.
New at the cinema
Robin Hood
New version of middle ages crime classic. Unless it’s got a fox in, I’m not interested.
DVD of the week
Titanic
Kate and Leo bond over Picasso’s ‘amazing’ use of colour then fall in the sea. Leo dies but Kate has an exciting life of riding horses in trousers and bringing an improbable number of photographs with her wherever she goes. Warning: contains some Celine Dion.
Be the first to comment