It’s the weekend and it’s still way too hot to do anything more than lie on your sofa in your pants watching these great films.
Friday
Back to the Future II Film4 18.40
Marty travels back in time to watch Mum and Dad get off with each other as teenagers whilst different Marty watches. Perverts, the lot of them.
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol Film4 21.00
Follow up to Mission: Impossible – Vampire Protocol. Soon to be followed up by Mission: Impossible – Zombie Protocol.
The Krays ITV4 21.00
The Krays? Cor Blimey guv’nor, lovely geezers, they were. Only ever hurt their own. East End was a better place for them. Up the Old Kent Road. My old man said follow the van. Cockles and Mussels, alive, alive-o.
And so on.
Saturday
Gladiator Film4 21.00
‘What you do in life, echoes in eternity’ – my life is pretty much watching telly and eating crisps. Take that eternity.
Pretty Woman BBC1 22.20
See, prostitution isn’t all harrowing exploitation at the hands of organised crime, you might meet a rich bloke who looks like a movie star and have a lovely time.
Minions ITV 18.15
Yellow blobs do farts and create all the memes humankind will ever need.
Sunday
Groundhog Day Dave 16.55
Strange feeling we’ve done this one before.
Oh no, that was Déjà vu
One Fine Day Film4 14.50
Rich, attractive man and lady meet and don’t really get on. Will they get on by the end? The suspense is killing me.
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace ITV2 18.15
Unassuming drama about a little boy that would go on to spawn classics A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi.
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