Owing to circumstances beyond our control, it’s February. So, the best plan is to hole up under the biggest blanket you can find and watch these great films.
Saturday
Inglourious Basterds – 23.00 ITV4
Tarantino war film, so there’s Churchill discussing his favourite Silver Surfer comic and Himmler doing the Twist. It goes on far too long and you won’t remember anything about it after the titles role.
Shutter Island – 21.00 Sony Movies
Leonardo DiCapiro discovers that Bruce Willis is a ghost, Tyler Durden is a sledge and Darth Vader used to have a silly haircut.
Implausible rubbish by man who hates Thor.
Only God Forgives – 02.20 Sony Movies
Unless you were involved in this film
Sunday
Men in Black – 16.40 Channel 4
Tommy Lee Jones is grumpy and Will Smith shouts ‘Aw hell no’ a lot. This passed for entertainment in the 90s.
Pan – 18.45 ITV2
Sequel to ‘Pot’
Live Once, Die Twice – 10.40 Sony Movies
I bet the James Bond people are gutted someone got to this title first.
New at the cinema this week
A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood
Tom Hanks is nice at everyone whilst wearing a cardie. Needs many, many more explosions.
DVD of the week
John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum
John Wick shoots everyone in the world until it’s just him left on his own with his dog. Who he then shoots.
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