It’s the weekend but it’s just too cold to even think about going outside, so panic buy your own body-weight in toast toppers and settle down with one of these ‘great’ films.
Friday
It’s Jason Statham Friday. Every Friday should be Jason Statham Friday.
The Mechanic – 21.00 Film4
He’s not a mechanic, he’s an assassin. It’s the lies that hurt.
Parker – 21.00 5*
Biography of the bloke who invented that pen, presumably. With fighting.
War – 23.20 5*
Gentle study of a Tuscan Abbey through the ages. Nah, just kidding. Stath and Jet Li duff each other up a lot.
Saturday
Remains of the Day – 09.10 Sony Movie Channel
Two hours of shouting ‘just talk to her, man’ at Anthony Hopkins. Can’t think of a better way to start Saturday.
How the West was Won – 16.00 ITV4
Story of three generations of a family in the Old West. Seemingly told in real time. I’m not even joking, you’ll be a pensioner by the time it finishes.
Dirty Dancing – 16.50 5*
“Don’t put any of the babies in the corner! Ever.”
I can never remember, is this ‘Love lift us up where we belong’ or ‘I’ve had the time of my life?’
Sunday
Last of the Mohicans 21.00 5Spike
Daniel Day-Lewis went totally method for this, spending a year beforehand living as an actor preparing to be in Last of the Mohicans.
One Fine Day – 16.40 Film4
Attractive man and lady start out hating each other. Who can ever imagine how it ends.
Like dogs, George Clooney can’t look up. Fact.
Jumper – 19.20 Channel 5
The story of a nice pullover.
How the West was Won – 10.50 ITV4
Still on.
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