It’s the weekend! You could pop round and see Ted and Leslie’s new conservatory but, let’s face it, Ted and Leslie are complete bastards, so why not watch these great films instead.
Saturday
The King’s Speech 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Posh man swears at Australian so that Britain can win the war.
Fatal Acquittal 09.00 Sony Movie Channel
No idea, but if I had to guess…
Diamanté Urethra is a top lawyer and part-time underwear model.
She meets and falls in love with Brick Brickson, an ex-football player and hamster tycoon, but tragedy strikes when Brick’s ex-wife is found stabbed to death with a pair of hamster-grooming scissors and Brick is arrested.
Diamanté must use her skills in law and underwear to prove that Brick is innocent.
Collision Earth 13.00 Sony Movie Channel
I watched a bit of this last weekend. It featured an actor that you’d recognise looking really embarrassed, then someone yelled ‘it’s happening again’ and a car floated into the air.
I had to stop then as we were going out for dinner. Had fish pie. It was really nice.
Sunday
In The Line of Fire 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Not as good as you remember it. Goes on for eight hours and Clint reaches for twinkly and charming and comes off as crinkly old perv.
Christine 22.40 Horror Channel
Haunted car murders everyone. Brilliant. I watched it when I was sick a few months ago, I’m now not sick. I’m not saying definitively there’s a connection, but you can’t argue with the evidence.
Next Stop Murder 10.55 Sony Movie Channel
Get off a stop early and walk then.
New at the cinema this weekend
Men in Black International
Reboot of much-loved franchise. This’ll go well.
DVD of the week
The Devil’s Own
Sure and begorrah, Brad Pitt plays an oirishman as Hollywood gives a nuanced, sensitive and thoughtful take on The Troubles.
Normally I would track down and viscously murder anyone who besmirched Clint in any way luckily for you I can’t stop giggling