It’s the weekend. You could pop to the pub, but it’ll just be full of dreary men saying that the beer is quite ‘hoppy’ like that’s a thing.
Best plan is to lie on the sofa eating mini Kievs and watching one of these top films
Saturday
Logan Channel 4 21.10
Grumpy Hugh Jackman is incredibly grumpy because he’s got metal bones. Then he dies.
The Goonies Channel 5 15.35
Rowdy kids go on a crime spree and smash up an antique ship before stealing all the gold. Should be in school, if you ask me.
Beverly Hills Cop II ITV4 22.50
Axel Foley solves crimes by being irritating.
Features Brigitte Nielson telling people to ‘eat the floor’ because someone thought that phrase was a good idea.
Sunday
Rocky ITV4 23.05
Man loses at boxing then shouts at his wife.
The Nightmare before Christmas ITV2 19.25
Should have been on at Halloween.
The Bucket List 5* 22.55
Two blokes make a list of all the things they want to do before they give up on life and watch this film.
New at the cinema this week
Jumanji: The Next Level
The Rock lives in a video game and everyone goes to visit him. Probably better than you’d expect.
DVD of the week
Far and Away
Hilarious comedy about Tom Cruise doing an Irish accent.
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