New regulations force ‘Little Women’ to change name to ‘Average-sized women’

New trade description regulations will force producers of the latest adaptation of the American classic Little Women to change its name to Average-sized women.

The name change has been brought about after careful study of both script and actors taking part in the film cannot be reasonably described as ‘little’ and could well give potential viewers an inaccurate impression of the film.

“I recognise that this ruling may prove troubling to some people,” said Stewart James, head of the Department for Accuracy in Film Titles.

“But I would urge people to have a different attitude towards it.

“Nothing about the story or characters will change, the women will still make quilts and get married or whatever it is they do.

“But whilst watching the adventures of these women, people can take comfort in the fact that the women’s size has been accurately described in the title.

Mr James even speculated that the ruling could make the film more enjoyable for people.

“It certainly would for me, otherwise I’d just be sitting there thinking ‘well, it’s all very good, but those women are definitely not ‘little,’ in fact, if anything, they’re average-sized.”

The ruling has sent shock waves through the industry with producers of The Big Lebowski, The Little Mermaid, and Big Trouble in Little China particularly concerned.