It’s the weekend! Time to have a go at the garden, go for a walk in the country, or lie on the sofa in your pants eating corn flakes straight from the box wondering if it’s too early to start drinking yet.
Here’s our guide to the wealth of movies available to you
Saturday
Bad Boys Sony Movie Channel 21.00
Macho cops spend all their time together bickering and protesting way too much at implications they might be gay.
The Three Musketeers 5* 18.55
Utterly unconvincing version of the classic novel. Not only is it set in some weird steampunk version of France, but the musketeers aren’t even dogs!
Dumas must be turning in his grave.
World War Z Channel 4 21.00
Brad Pitt stars as Brad Pitt in film in which Brad Pitt saves the world from everyone who isn’t Brad Pitt.
Sunday
Valkyrie ITV4 23.10
Tom Cruise fails to kill Hitler. Thanks Tom.
Gnomeo and Juliet 5* 15.10
From the people who brought you Sherlock Gnomes. If you’re reading, how about Antigon-gnome for your next one? You’re welcome.
Shout out to anyone in an amateur dramatic production of Antigone. There’ll be someone.
Volcano Film4 18.55
Classic from the short-lived there’s-an-unexpected-volcano-in-america genre.
Plucky dog survives, man learns to bond with child, teenager grows up, secondary character dies in heroic yet quite gruesome fashion – disaster movie bingo, really.
New at the cinema this weekend
Pokemon Detective Pikachu
Darkly realistic crime epic starring yellow furby. Unbelievably, it looks better than Sonic the Hedgehog
DVD of the week
A Few Good Men
Jack Nicholson can’t handle the truth…or can he?
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