John Wick starting to wish he’d just bought a new dog

Legendary hitman John Wick has revealed that he is starting to wish that he’d just bought a new dog.

In an exclusive interview, a thoughtful Mr Wick revealed his regret that so many people had to die.

“I can’t help thinking that I should have just popped down to ‘Pets Pets Pets’ and bought a new dog,” he said.

“I mean, I had to kill a Russian mob boss, then get back embroiled in the life of an assassin and now I’m hiding in a hole in the ground in South America because literally everyone on the planet is trying to kill me.

“If I’d just bought another dog, I’d be at home right now eating a bowl of Cap’n Crunch and watching American Idol.”

Mr Wick also revealed that he didn’t even particularly care for dogs.

“Not really, no. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I loved that particular dog, because it was a gift from my late wife, but if I’m honest, I’ve always been more of an exotic bird man.

“Certainly, in my early hitman days I’d have a parrot on my shoulder when I was carrying out contracts. Partly for the company, partly for the look.

“I loved that parrot. Maybe I should have just got myself another parrot instead of killing everyone.”

However, Mr Wick revealed that he had no plans to buy a new dog or even a new parrot now.

“No, too late for that now, I think,” he said.

“No, I’ll probably just kill loads of people instead.

“It’s the only sensible option.”