Videogame mage unconvinced adding talking chicken to party will help save realm

A videogame mage was left bemused by the suggestion that adding a talking chicken to her party will help save the realm.

“I don’t know. Having a talking chicken following me around seems pretty stupid,” explained Ishbeil of Lothrain, a legendary mage.

“I mean, I’ve got a realm to save here. It’s not going to be easy. I’m going to have to battle giant monsters, I’m going to have to explore dark dungeons. There’s a lot of perilous adventure I’ve got to deal with here. Now we’re saying that I’ve got to deal with all that and listen to a chicken talk about its eggs? I don’t know.”

Ishbeil remained unconvinced even when it was explained that in several hours, she may come across another group of talking chickens who might well be very grateful to meet this particular talking chicken

“I’ve got a bloody realm to save. Grashnor the wizard has consolidated his power and is one Staff of Kranarth away from opening a portal into the hell dimension that will see the land overrun with demons and monsters and orcs.

“Who gives a toss about whether some chickens are going to be grateful or not!”

The mage went on to explain that she had already collected a number of peculiar individuals who she was unable to shake off.

“I couldn’t move on from one village until I agreed to take this surly boy with me. He’s meant to have a great destiny, but so far all he’s done is hit bushes with his wooden sword. I’ve got an idiot soldier who just keeps running off and getting in battles and an old man who’s only talent is to pick the locks on a bunch of chests we keep finding that look like they’re going to contain something really cool but actually just turns out to be ‘crafting materials’ – whatever the hell they are!”

“I draw the line at talking bloody chickens. Now, we’ll rest here to eat and then crack on early tomorrow.”

The party then dined heartily on roasted chicken and went to bed.