After watching ‘Jurassic World Rebirth’, Trump announces $2bn program to recreate dinosaurs

Donald Trump has announced a $2bn program to recreate dinosaurs after watching the latest Jurassic World film.

“We’re going to have the best dinosaurs. The biggest. The most beautiful,” explained the president as he addressed reporters whilst sat on the toilet.

“America used to have the greatest dinosaurs, I’m going to bring those back. The diplodocus, that was a great American dinosaur. The crazy Democrats got rid of that. They got rid of all the dinosaurs. I’m going to bring them back. We’re going to see dinosaur theme parks in all our major cities. It’s going to be beautiful.”

It is understood that Mr Trump enjoyed a screening of Jurassic World rebirth in the White House over the weekend. Inspired, he abandoned plans to annex Wakanda and invade Narnia and instead drew up plans to recreate dinosaurs.

The plan, which read “Make science guys bring back dinosaurs and everything will be great”, was presented to Congress who approved it immediately to stop Trump from saying mean things about them on the internet.

The President even promised something unique.

“Yeah. I see that in this new Jurassic World picture, they can create new dinosaurs now. Better dinosaurs. So, we’re going to do that. We’re going to have the Trumpasaurus Rex. It’s going to be the biggest, the best-looking, it’s going to be beautiful. A beautiful Trumpasaurus Rex.”

The president was reminded that we have now had seven films specifically warning about the hubris of people with too much money creating dinosaurs.

“Yes. But it’ll be different when I do it,” he said.