Tribe of Proclaimers discovered in East Scotland

A previously unknown tribe of Proclaimers have been discovered in a remote part of East Scotland. 

They are a group of six males and eight females, all myopic, and are currently occupying an area on the coast.

“It’s tremendously exciting, to see Proclaimers untouched by civilisation just interacting with their natural environment – singing, wearing spectacles, creating an exciting modern interpretation of traditional folk music – we’ve not seen anything like this before,” said Stewart James, Professor of Proclaimers at Oxford University.

The Proclaimers were discovered by local fishermen.

“As I understand it, a storm and knocked them off course, and as they were making their way along the coast, they heard a faint ‘Dun Diddle Un Diddle’ coming from behind some rocks, they investigated further and saw a couple of males in Aran sweaters on the beach performing an informal concert for the others.

“Thankfully, they didn’t interact with the tribe and reported it to my department.”

Professor James and his team have set up a blind to observe the creatures and have already discovered exciting developments

“The tribe seems to be on the verge of an evolutionary breakthrough and are on the cusp of moving from ad hoc performance of different songs, to organising those songs into a narrative structure and actually creating a rudimentary musical theatre production. It’s fascinating.”

The discovery of the tribe of Proclaimers should lead to far greater understanding of the fascinating, gentle creatures and has been hailed as the most important discovery in pop-based anthropology since a small group of wild Manic Street Preachers were discovered in 2002 roaming the Brecon Beacons.