Top Gun fans are set to be surprised by long-awaited sequel Top Gun: Maverick as, rather than an all-action shoot-em-up in the vein of the first film, it will tell the story of a man and a plane who fall in love.
“We wanted to get away from the macho hysterics of the first picture, even though it’s a classic,” explained star and producer Tom Cruise.
“Instead, Top Gun: Maverick is a relationship piece about a man and a plane and the love they have for each other.”
Beginning with Maverick recovering from a messy break up from his relationship with Val Kilmer’s Iceman, he spends more and more time alone with his plane until one day, they share a tentative kiss.
Confused but happy, the next day Maverick and the plane then fly over to a small tropical island where the pair spend a romantic day together on the beach and tenderly make love as the sun sets.
“In the first film we broke ground with the depiction of overt homosexuality in the military,” continued Cruise.
“With this one, we’re break new taboos with cinema’s first sex scene between a man and a plane. That was a tough scene, let me tell you, but I’m very proud of it. I’m very proud of the whole film.”
The film tells the story of their love affair, including Iceman’s reaction, Maverick’s superiors finding out, and climaxing in a heart stopping mid-air battle in which the plane may or may not be fatally injured.
Top Gun: Maverick will be released later this year and is understood to be the first film to receive an R rating for ‘explicit aircraft nudity.’
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Howard the Duck remake coming because you people will watch anything
Marvel have announced that they’ll probably knock out a Howard the Duck remake soon, because people are idiots and will watch anything.
The original Howard the Duck was realised in 1986, featured Lea Thompson getting off with the titular fowl and nothing else of note.
“Yeah, we’ll do something with that duck soon, I guess,” said Marvel exec Scarlett Downey.
“I mean, the first one was shocking. Terrible. Obviously, it was. It’s a duck from outer space. No one wanted to see a duck from outer space in 1986.”
“Thing is though, it’s 2021, people will watch anything in 2021, just look at Dolittle, people paid money to watch that!”
“So, we’ll just get the geeks to put together a walking duck on a computer. Throw a bunch of money at someone who hasn’t done much lately to do the voice. Chris Slater maybe? Make up something crazy about aliens with a bunch of plum sauce and a big-ass oven for the plot. Put a kickass soundtrack on it and ba-boom. Howard the Duck 2021.”
“People will go and see it. People will watch anything.”
However, Ms Downey did make it clear that, despite rumours, there were no plans to attempt another adaptation of Fantastic Four.
“Hell no. Even people who will watch a remake of Howard the Duck have some standards.”
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